Monday, January 02, 2006

1/1/06 Sunday
I am sick today. Woke up early this morning and started coughing so bad I had a problem getting a breath of air. I had started having a sore throat yesterday, which of course I caught from Cherie. We share everything. She had this when we were in Texas and had bravely endured it not complaining much at all.

1/2/06 Monday
We are both real sick. That makes us cranky. When I opened this journal I found it once again corrupted. I went blogging last night when I got up at 2:00 or so and stopped when a site wouldn’t let me go. The last time this happened I figured that the journal got corrupted because it was open while I was online. Was going to make sure it was closed when I went online but got lazy and didn’t. Now I have 792 pages to go through to insure I have corrected the problem but I am getting confused as I try. I was able to fix the auto back up copy but not the main one. I loaded the back up CD and it is getting hard to do because I forget what I am going to do as I do it. The stress is triggering a slow down as it always does. This just makes it harder. I have a headache which I think is from my head being stuffed full of snot but may also be from the stress. Tried to save this but it wouldn’t save.
I was to take Wayne shopping this morning but will call and see if he has enough food for a day or two. I also had told Allen I would go over to visit but won’t do that. If Wayne needs food that I will do but Allen is not that high of a priority. It is storming out side and will do so for a few days according to the weather report. There are flood warnings for this whole section of Ohio so this rain will make it tough on low lying areas.

This is hard for me as I struggle to go through this journal and correct the problems. I find a sentence on the bad copy and go search for that same sentence on the backups but forget the sentence as I look so have to start over again. Cherie was getting vitamins out for me and as I took them told her about how hard it is. “I used to be smart” I told her and started to cry. I couldn’t stop it though I tried. This sucks. I used to never get emotional and now can’t control it. Reading the old entries brings back lots of stuff that I went through.
I tried to save this but it won’t save.

As I went through this journal to correct the corruption I found whole sections that are repeated several times in different places. This is scary and I now will have to carefully go through all seven hundred fifty three pages and figure it out.

I am depressed. I read the letter Cherie had written to Carol, my step mom, and her reply. It illustrated how much wrong information they have concerning me. She said they barely knew me, which is true, but then mentioned I had been in jail in Colorado. I was never in jail there. I had gone to Colorado to manage a marketing project for Advanced Hotel Marketing at the Scanticon Hotel which has two five star restaurants and it’s own golf course. I am sure my ex wife, Barb, had told them I was in jail to cover the fact I had left her again for whoring around. Who knows what else she told them. I know she had a lot to say when I was in a coma and the poison of her words is a major factor in my father refusing to talk with me. Of all people he should understand the vindictiveness of a woman because of how my mother had burned him. He hates a liar so you would think he would want to know the truth. As always when folks talk about you instead of to you the story has only a fleeting resemblance to the truth. I am sure that when my father and her were going through their divorces her version of things was very much different from his.

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