Everything has a price

5/15/07 Tuesday
Looks like it will be another good day. Didn’t get to sleep till after one but part of that is because I wandered into some places on the internet I don’t need to go. Woke up fairly sharp despite that and having the situation with mom and dad still on my mind. That’s always going to be there cause you can’t care without it. So here are some thoughts related to that.

Here are some words and the definitions we hear and talk about all the time. Words and concepts most of us would like to think we practice in our lives.

mor•al Of or concerned with the judgment of the goodness or badness of human
action and character: moral scrutiny; a moral quandary.
Teaching or exhibiting goodness or correctness of character and behavior: a
moral lesson.
Conforming to standards of what is right or just in behavior; virtuous: a moral
life.
Arising from conscience or the sense of right and wrong: a moral obligation.

mo•ral•i•ty conformity to the rules of right conduct; moral or virtuous conduct.
moral quality or character.

ethics A set of principles of right conduct.
A theory or a system of moral values:

in•teg•ri•ty Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.

hon•or Good name; reputation.
Principled uprightness of character; personal integrity.
A code of integrity, dignity, and pride, chiefly among men, that is maintained
in some societies, as in feudal Europe.

On the news they had a story regarding the military’s response to the abuses and even murders that have come to light in the Iraq war. They have a definition of honor that was being strongly presented during basic training of new recruits. I like it the better than what I found in the dictionary. “Honor is doing what you know is right when nobody is looking”. I think that can be applied to “Integrity” as well. The bible says “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17.

So my point is that for me to not work for what I know is the best, to sit on my hands and watch wrong things happen, violates all these principles I respect and try to live my life by. It is unfortunate that I don’t always go about things the best way but I have no shame about trying. I have always lived by a code though the ones in my past were misguided. One of the worlds I was involved in was that of the outlaw bikers, a world where you stood with your “brother” back to back in a bar despite overwhelming odds during a fight. A world where if you were busted for a criminal act you did your time like a man and did not snitch on others despite your charges being dropped or reduced being offered. That life is long gone now but the sense of honor isn’t. It has just evolved to conform with the new life and philosophy gained from the accident, my rethinking what is really important in life. As the plaque says “Money and things are gone in a flash. What has true lasting value is the lives that you touch”.

So if doing what you know is right comes with a price, with a sacrifice, it is a true mark of ones personal integrity. Just like true friends. Everyone talks a good game but when the chips are down you will see who is really true, what’s really inside.

Time to get to work. Actually I’ve already been out there but came in to write and post this. Fixed me some eggs to make sure I’ve eaten and took my medicine. Took two pain pills yesterday and they helped me get more done but that comes with a price. When you don’t feel the pain as bad you push the body a bit more than perhaps you should, then you hurt more the next day. So I’m starting with a pill this morning. Don’t really care as much about pain as I do about getting things done. Everything comes with a price.
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Took a break because it started raining. I had just loaded the truck with garbage cans and shovel to get more goat crap from Kevin when it started. Was hoping to get some while it was still a little dry cause it’s easier to handle and smells a bit less. I think I will still head out there cause it looks like the thunderstorms are spotty and may not have hit his place.

I E mailed my nephew in law, Nate, earlier to ask that he remove the picture of both Cherie and I from the link he has on his blog to mine. With the recent issues regarding getting mom and dad in a safe place he now has the link labeled as “Asshole’s blog”. I don’t care what he calls me but will not let him call Cherie that or intimate it through having her picture there. His response was what I expected. In all fairness my approach was not a nice “Would you please” but more in the lines of “Do this or I’ll do that” thing so got to take some blame. I’m just not good at nicey nice. Not a big part of my history. (Note: Cathy just sent me an E mail saying she would ask Nate to pull Cherie’s picture)

It’s 4:00 now. I just got back from my second trip to Kevin’s to get goat crap. Picked up a total of six garbage cans in all. Unfortunately I hurt myself like I did the other time lifting the full garbage can into the back of the truck. The other time I only got two cans instead of the six this time. At least I thought to bring my furniture dolly to haul the cans from the goat pens. Just took my second pain pill for the day. Took a whole one instead of cutting it in half like I usually do.

I worked up a thirst so stopped at Sonic and treated myself to a cream slush or something like that. I think I’ll get outside and start pulling weeds so I can use them to create another compost pile. Hope the pill takes effect soon.
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It’s been a good run. Almost two full days without a slowdown of any kind. It’s 5:47 and I am experiencing the dizziness and head pressurization that comes with one. Typing speed is pretty slow and would indicate I am running at a four or so on the bob scale. Janie told us how she liked my “bob scale” and we all had a good chuckle about it. Fact is it is a good way for me to track these things as all I have to do is put “bob scale” in the search engine and have a daily and often hourly record of the frequency and severity of these occurrences.

I’ve been working on the tomato and pepper patch. Already had the Roma’s done and just made a bed for an interesting hybrid Cherie picked up called red lightning. This bed I prepared with the cotton burr compost and some of the goat manure I picked up today. I really don’t know how much I should mix in and frankly don’t know about the other fertilizers. This time I made a groove in the top of the row and placed some of the dirt labeled “Natures own” in the groove. This is where the seeds will go so they won’t be exposed to the rest of the soil till they are well on the way. Reading the back of the red lightning seed package I saw the instruction to plant the seeds in a seed starting compound. This is the first I heard about such a thing, at least that I can remember. Need to keep my eyes open for it. Might be why I have had little success starting anything. In fact I only have three plants that are progressing at a fair pace. There are a bunch of tomatillas that are doing fairly well also. Need to get back out there and finish what I started as well as doing my evening watering. It doesn’t matter how bad I am doing cause this needs to be kept up with. The good thing about being on this farm is there are always simple tasks that I can do despite being slow. Spraying water doesn’t take much. The pain is bearable with medication.
This is a cage I made for the tomato plant Cherie picked up. Wrapped the plastic around it to provide protection from the wind.

I can’t remember when Cherie is to be home. Fact is right now I don’t know what day it is so will go look. It’s Tuesday. I think Cherie will be home tomorrow. Need to get outside and focus on tomatoes cause am getting confused and a little lost.

When I opened the package of the red lightning seeds (Burpee brand) there were only four seeds in it. Kind pissed me off. Hope one of them comes up cause it is a real interesting looking tomato.

Gonna call it a night. Got a headache on top of the slow down.