Foggy out and now in too

5/5/07 Saturday
It’s foggy out this morning as it has been since the rains came. Didn’t get to sleep till after midnight. Climbing on that tree with the chainsaw seems to have increased an area of pain that has recently been becoming more noticeable. That is in my right hip. Not good. I know about the issues of hip joint deterioration from a guy we knew in Toledo who had his replaced. Getting older ain’t fun, especially when you spent a lifetime beating yourself up. Like it says, that rule you can’t escape from, “you reap what you sow”. Been doing a lot of reaping lately. But, by the same token, I’ve been sowing lots of good seed since I woke up. Haven’t been able to do much of that since we moved to West Texas due to being a little isolated but that is slowly changing.

While I’m thinking of it let me slip this in. Got the E mail from pastor I’ve been looking for. The time stamp says it came in at four this morning. Dave gave me a brief rundown of his recent activity and some of what he will be doing soon. Dude, (a non West Texas word) you gotta slow down, give yourself some breathing room. But being a pastor has it’s price, definitely not your nine to five occupation. Eric was talking about the toll just helping with the charitable giving at his church, the cost that comes with caring. Yet the rewards are much greater. Helping others is addictive when you see the smiles and improved lives. From the Christian point of view you are laying up treasures in heaven, not here on earth.

Time to get out to the garden and take advantage of this cooler part of the day. It is great to see some plants springing up, getting past that delicate first stage when a little thing can destroy it. For me this is school, this is preparing for a future with this land we are blessed with. The more mistakes I make the more I learn. Making the same ones over again helps cement them in this brain, you know, repetition. Don’t like it but if that’s what it takes that’s the way it is.

Gonna start some more flats of tomatoes and peppers, and whatever else I can think of. Should do much better with good dirt and the lessons hopefully learned from previous attempts. Will set up some trellises that I will make from some of the scrap that this farm was littered with. There is a British cucumber that looks interesting and the instructions on the back recommend the trellis.

I bought some of that sprinkler hose that leaks water into the ground when I went on my shopping spree at Walfart the other day. They had some where you make your own hoses to custom lengths and divisions which were a much better buy than the premade stuff as well as being better suited to our application. Want to get more goat crap today. We’ll see how that goes as it’s a weekend and I don’t like intruding. I’ve been slowly emptying the garbage cans that I had filled with the compost I shoveled off the ground at Aldredge nursery just for that purpose. They are smaller so will be easier for me to move about. Will also take the furniture dolly to roll them around when full.

I also want to start cleaning the house in preparation for Cherie coming home. One of the projects I have neglected is building her sewing table. Need to put that up on the list. I’ll have to buy some wood for that. Hoped to use some of the mulberry wood that is so pretty finished but don’t have the tools I need to mill it into usable pieces. Still putting aside lengths of the limbs for future use.

Took my medicine and will go cook some food to make sure I eat today. My weight has stabilized and remains at the 200 pounds it was a few days ago so I suppose that’s a good thing. The gut I had when we came down here is mostly gone, works for me. Those last two sentences were hard to write as this one is. Have to search hard for the words to use and how to structure the sentence. It’s a marked change from when I started this post so may indicate a slow down. It may not also. Think I need to focus on something else, choose a basic task that doesn’t require me to think. Scrambling eggs will be a good start.

Definitely a slow down. Ears ringing has increased and have that dizzy head pressurized feeling along with my ability to type and put together words is pretty slow. That was a tough sentence to write. Done for now.
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Been pulling weeds. That’s a good thing for me to do when slow. Am doing much better now as evidenced by my fingers dancing on this keyboard and how quickly I formulate sentences. That’s how quick things can change with me. Going to run over to the John Deere dealership to see a Ronnie? Cook. Not sure of the first name but repeated the last in my mind enough for it to stay. Bud Glassman stopped as I was pulling weeds and I asked who owned the property on the corner that has a pond surrounded with mesquite trees. He said Mr. Cook was the one that farms it. I want to get permission to cut dead wood out of there to stock up for next winter. Gotta plan ahead on stuff like that cause waiting for the last minute can lead to a cold winter. Rather do it myself than ask for a handout.

It always makes me nervous when this laptop hiccups. Screen just went to that half size thing and wouldn’t let me scroll up or down. Had to close it all the way out and back up again to fix. After I post this I’ll run the spyware and restart. It gets funny if I don’t turn it off now and then.

Talked to Ronny (Yep, it was his first name) and he said it was fine for me to cut firewood out of there as long as I didn’t drive on the field. Not a problem as I’d need four wheel drive to do that anyway. I stopped and looked at the place and it will involve carrying the wood a ways so I’ll have to take the wheelbarrow to carry the wood to the truck. Boy you can sure see where the coyotes bed down. Got grass laid down in all kinds of spots. There are maybe a hundred dove living in this little sanctuary. I should go take some pictures of it.

Bud Glassman said I could cut wood off his property that is three miles or so up the road. I’ll look at that to see if it’s easier to get at. At the price they charge for firewood here in West Tex I might be able to make a few extra bucks that we could certainly use. I’ll see how this body handles it first. Regardless I’m getting what we need for next winter. Speaking of that it’s time to take another pain pill. Much as I don’t like them they sure help me be able to get stuff done.
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Went to the place that I think Bud said was his. There was tons of mesquite bushes but no real trees with trunks of any usable size. There could have been some but if there were they weren’t anywhere I could see which means anywhere easy to get too. These mesquites have two to three inch thorns that will make short work of a tire. Leroy told me they flatten his tractor tire. There were a bunch of old telephone pole fence posts as well as some full length poles. Those I can use as things get bigger here on the farm. Also saw a big pile of rocks that would be great for building fences or lining garden beds. Hmm, there’s a thought. Think I’ll wander over there and pick up a few. Right now I’m gonna get some flats prepared to try this seed starting thing. Third times the charm, right? I’m sure it will be better because “I got good dirt, maann”. (Said with a hippy drawl) Time for me to do what mama always said not to, go play in the dirt.
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I suppose that when you find yourself falling asleep on the toilette your mind is giving you a subtle hint that you need to take your nap. Hate to do that when I am getting things done. At least I got one flat planted. Thought I had more pepper plants. I think that now that we have a couple of bucks where our next meal is not in doubt I should spring for fresh seeds. I was surprised to see they are only a buck at Walfart. Somewhere in this mind I had the idea that seeds cost much much more. I don’t know, just go day to day seeing everything for the first time again and again. Can’t believe it’s already four. Will grab this nap that I need to have whether I like it or not. Again it’s like I’m 80 years old, same kind of crap they go through needing naps and getting confused. See ya when I wake up.
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I am still wiped despite it being 7:30.
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9:00 – Something drained my energy. That’s a good indication the slow down I had earlier was a serious one. Didn’t write down when it happened as far as the time goes but it just have been before or after the entry where I was falling asleep on the toilette. Reading that entry again I see I said it was 4:00. I do remember having dreams that were strange and disjointed though the details are gone. Still have what I call a thick head which is a headache that feels like there is pressure building up inside and thinking is like walking through deep sand. Haven’t shaved or washed up for church tomorrow so I’ll have to do that in the morning. I heated up the rest of the rice, bean, and everything else I could throw in I had yesterday to make sure there was some protein in this body. Started to do a short study on holiness in the bible because Eric’s post on his blog spurred my interest. Just wasn’t able to follow my own train of thought.

It’s a good thing my ears are sensitive. That is also part of the brain injury where my ability to filter things out is affected. That filtering is what lets you tune out things like the sounds of things like an air conditioner and the buzz of fluorescent light fixtures. Anyway, I heard a click from the kitchen and recognized it as the thermostat on the hot plate turning the juice on and off. Sure enough I had left it on after heating up my food. Getting up to deal with that I remembered to check if I took my medicine. No didn’t do that either.

Hope I get a good nights sleep and wake refreshed. Don’t like being in public when I’m not up to speed and church has become a stressful time for me. Part of that is my fault but fault doesn’t make things easier. Good night.