Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Only four hours of sleep but the brain is working.

8/22/06 Tuesday
Both of us had a hard time going to sleep. For some reason we were wide awake and full of energy at one in the morning. Of course that made waking up this morning hard. Cherie looked like she was about to go to sleep when she left for work. I resisted the temptation to go back to bed. The brain is still running well. Hope I am on the upswing side of the slow down cycles. That would give me a week or three of good days. I best look in the calendar to see what I should do.

I need to make a copy of Rudy’s death certificate and send it to Patrick for Lee’s Civil Service insurance. The other thing scheduled is to meet Cathy at her work. This I am looking forward to. I love to learn and what she can teach me is vital for our farm plans. One thing that is not on the calendar is going to visit Allen. Who knows if that will happen. Allen is to call me when he gets up and moving, which is usually around three in the afternoon. He is so unstable that I can’t really count on it. Hope he calls and if I don’t hear from him I’ll call him. There is some paperwork from Family Services that needs to get filled out and sent in. Mostly though he needs some encouragement and motivation to combat his depression. Mom asked a question when we were visiting yesterday. “What’s going to happen with Allen when I’m gone?” I don’t know but plan on getting him a computer like I did Wayne so we can keep in contact. I’ll still be trying to help them from 2000 miles away.

Despite being tired and only having four hours of sleep I am moving pretty good this morning. Already grabbed a bowl of cereal and went through my morning E mail routine. Checked the latest activity on the homesteader web site and completed some surveys. The last part of that routine is to get this journal entry posted as soon as I get done writing this.

It seems that my brother is checking in on the blog fairly regular, about once a week. I am curious if he cares or is worried about what I say about him. I don’t hear a word from him and most of what I have heard is that is ranting about my demanding he pay what he promised. With that and the typical emotional issues that come with long term alcoholism I suspect his motivation is not that he cares. It would be nice but I don’t know.

Time to post this and hit the shower. You can always tell when this brain is working cause I write allot more. Just look at the last entry in yesterdays post. The first two (I put a line between each entry) are short and the last one is longer than the first two put together. I’m running an 8 on the bob scale this morning
I got Fred scheduled to take him and his car in for an oil change and lube job. (for some reason that doesn’t sound right) I got Rudy and Jessica’s (my mother) death certificates copied to sent to Patrick. Couldn’t find one for Lee so I’ll call Virginia to have her send a copy.

Virginia wasn’t in the office so I’ll have to call her later. I will send her an E mail now cause I know the odds are I’ll forget.

Speaking of forgetting I forgot how difficult it is to have a conversation around Wayne. Too tired right now. It is 4:14 and I just got home. I think I will lay down and write later.

9:06 – Later. It was another partial seizure, the kind that comes on quick and makes the world disoriented. Didn’t last long this time. I took my second seizure pill as soon as I figured out what was going on. Now back to the day.

After Cherie left for work I decided Taco Bell sounded good. The one I was heading for isn’t far from Wayne’s so I called him on my cell. I haven’t visited with him much lately so thought he would appreciate it. “What do you want?” he asked me. “I don’t want anything. Thought I would come by and visit. Would you like anything from Taco Bell?” I responded. He doesn’t get out for fast food and definitely liked the idea.

Jenifer (From the Zeph Center) has been taking him shopping and to doctors appointments and he has a home health aid who washes dishes, cleans, and takes care of those types of needs. She would wash him in the shower if he needed but he’s not keen on that. Don’t blame him. He also has physical therapists come in. Despite this he is very lonely so had much to say. I took him to the bank to cash his check and after asked him if he would like to ride along when I went to see Cathy. “It’d be nice to get out for a change” was his reply so off we went.

Cathy was tied up in a meeting but broke loose cause she knew I would be there at 2:00. She was surprised and glad to see Wayne. Hadn’t seen him since she and her sons helped move Wayne out of cracktown.

Like I had started to say earlier I had forgotten how hard it is to have a conversation with Wayne around. He doesn’t let someone finish a sentence before he jumps in with a question or statement. I had to tell him a number of times “Wayne, let Cathy finish talking”. Finally I told him that I had come to learn from Cathy and asked him to just be quiet. I had to tell him “Be quiet” four or five times with little success. I asked him to stay where he was and walked off a ways with Cathy. She was getting frustrated too. I gave up and told Cathy I had to get going. She said I could come back anytime and quietly said under her breath so Wayne didn’t hear “Come without Wayne”.

Both of us know that the MS affects Wayne’s brain and this was a result of that but it still doesn’t make anything easier. It is sad to watch this man telling the same story over again and again cause he doesn’t remember he just told it. And it will not get better, just gradually worse and worse. Yet he is a nice guy, really is. Four years ago this is the level I was at with the brain damage, actually I was worse. The difference is I am getting better as my brain rewires itself while he is getting worse. It reminds me how blessed and lucky I am.

I got Wayne home after stopping by Kroger so he could get some groceries and came home to have the seizure.

Cherie is exhausted from getting only three hours of sleep last night so hit the bed at 8:30 and conked out. I am doing better but only running a 7. Still got the headache that came with the seizure. I will post this and perhaps download the pictures of Texas desert plants Cathy can use for her students. They are going to make small biosphere’s of different types of environments including desert. Glad to help. I’ll probably call it a night as far as this blog goes so, See Ya.

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