Thursday, October 06, 2005

10605 Thursday early

10/6/05 Thursday, early morning post
     It is 1:52 in the morning. I just snapped awake with the fact I wasn’t able to publish the last entry to the blog on my mind. I was thinking it could be because I had run the virus scan and deleted cookies but as I waited for this laptop to power up realized I didn’t run that till after the problem. Don’t know what happened just that it said “error 5” every time I tried. It seemed to work fine this time so who knows. I was getting slow fast as this happened and get lost pretty easily at these times.
     Still have the headache and back  pain. Sitting at attention in front of this thing. I am sure it would make an interesting picture with me sitting down like a Westpoint cadet at this desk. Of course my lack of clothing would eliminate the word interesting but, hey it’s 2:00 in the morning so who cares.
     Cherie just woke up and headed into the bathroom. This two in the morning thing probably doesn’t help her but when I asked if I woke her up she said “Honey I’m up and down all night”. This change of life she is going through is an incredible ordeal and she is toughing it out the hard way not taking the hormone pills so her body adjusts quicker.
     I probably should try to go back to bed just to keep my clock right. The ears still ring but that comes and goes. I am not real speedy but much than last night. I crawled into bed at nine and just curled up refusing the urge to turn on the TV. I do remember Cherie waking me up for her goodnight kiss. I am blessed to have a woman so patient and understanding cause this instability makes me a sometimes difficult person to be around. I got a little snappy last night as I endured the sudden slow down.
      I’ve been up an hour now. Still debating going back to bed but like to take advantage of when the brain works. I’m only operating at a 7 but after having the increased number of slow downs this is good. I have been able to do some basic stuff like asking to be listed by Toledo bloggers.  
     After much internal debate I decided to stay up and just put on a pot of Bob coffee. I also went to get my seizure pill and see I did not take my second one yesterday. This may or may not account for the slow down. I can’t remember for sure but I think I had decided to take the 150 ml pill instead of the 100. I had loaded the pill minder with one 150 and one 100 for each day and never switched it over. Got to keep up with this stuff. The pill minder is the only way I know if I took my medicine because I can’t remember these small events like taking a pill.
     One of the reasons I stayed up is I remembered that I needed to finish writing about Ahmed. While it was uncomfortable enough for him to ask advise on how to ask American girls out and to question me about the girl downstairs that was not what really disturbed me. When he started talking about his religion and Iraq he became animated and his eyes really changed. I have seen this look before in the eyes of those who are fanatic about their subject whatever it may be.
     We got on the subject as he expressed his feelings toward Mia, how he wanted a relationship. He quickly made the point he did not want sex because that is “illegal” in his religion. I said that my beliefs are similar about just going out and having sex with whomever. I asked what kind of a Moslem he is and that started him up. He said there is only one Moslem and that Americans don’t know anything about his religion. He went into detail saying there is only one God, one book the Koran, and one profit Mohammed. He went into details telling me that by the age of eleven children memorize 650,000 verses from the Koran. I doubled checked on that thinking his lack of mastery of the English language caused an error in that statement. Having seen a Koran I doubted the book could contain that many verses. He confirmed that was what he meant.
     Then he explained why there were different sects such as Sunni and Shiite. He said they were all one but that there were five individuals who each were shown different things out of the same book, the Koran, and they had recorded what Allah had revealed to them. He didn’t use the word prophet for these five guys which I found interesting. Ahmed just said that there were different followers of each teacher. It is his opinion that the Koran is the most incredibly complex book that Allah can give hundreds of thousands of principals for all. Non Moslems can only have a shallow surface knowledge of this book because they couldn’t penetrate it’s true meanings. “I am Sunni” he said, finally answering my question.
     I asked him why Moslems kill Moslems and that really got him going. He now began to show me a mindset that is scary because I realize that what he was now saying was sincerely believed by a large population of Moslems. He said Moslems do not kill Moslems, it was the CIA and United States that was doing the killing in order to cause a civil war in Iraq because we lost the war. He espoused that he absolutely knew this was true and had proof. Claiming that Americans were fed false information and that nothing on the news is true he asked “Did you know that just a few weeks ago American soldiers were caught with a car bomb? You didn’t hear that did you?” This “fact” was his proof we are all being fooled and manipulated by our government.
     I looked at Ahmed and said that in every war governments would spread stories that were designed to inflame the people, thus creating fear and anger at how they were wronged by the enemy. “Do you think you can believe a lie?” I asked. This set him back for about two seconds and recovering he returned to his tirade. Now he told me that Zarcowi (however you spell his name) did not exist at all. He was created by the CIA. The real Zarcowi had been jailed many years ago in Palestine for some minor criminal offence and then taken out by British soldiers and shot.
     Bin Laden was just a man who collected money for the CIA. That is all he ever was but he was betrayed by them and is now used as propaganda to further the goals of the U.S.. Then Ahmed got onto Saddam Hussein. “Where do you think he got the poison gas he used?”. He worked for the CIA also. The US put him into power.
     I understand now why things are so hard for us in Iraq. These stories are in wide circulation among the Sunni Moslems and probably among the other sects of Mohammed also, though I suspect not to the same degree. We are the great Satan to this part of the world which is in the grip of this false image. I expect to hear more when Ahmed returns from driving his truck as he does every weekend. He had checked himself several times as we talked, starting to say something and then stopping as he carefully watched my face. I will encourage him to speak more of these things as I want to get a better picture of this mindset. I will resist asking him why he came here from Lebanon if he thinks so little of this country. It may be wise to keep on good terms with him. He is a nice guy but the potential for trouble is high. Rushing to judgment is wrong and would only confirm his opinion of this country. The more I know the better I am able to assess a situation.
     I think I will look on the net for information. I have seen on the Christian station former Moslems who have converted to Christianity and had much insight on this religion. Personally I think that religion has been used as an excuse to steal, kill, and destroy for the entire history of man. Nah, I don’t think that I know it, and Christianity is high on that list. That is why I don’t believe in “religion” per se. I am spiritual and think there is a God, at least I hope there is, and that all life is connected and has God as it’s source. For more on this you will have to visit the other blog I will be creating, maybe today if I can.    

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