Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Second part of Tuesday

Cherie came home and I had her read this journal to explain what had happened. It is often clearer and easier to have her read instead of trying to verbalize things. We went to the bank to have the photo ticket notarized so it can be sent in and it will be in my name. The banker recognized us but of course I didn’t recognize her. She is one of those who I told our story to and remembered it well. I told her about the blog and wrote down the address.
     I am slowing down now. Cherie says that often happens when I get angry. Barb is supposed to call me when her check comes in so I can take her to the grocery store. I won’t answer the phone because I really don’t think I need to be out there and don’t want to explain why. She will call Fred then who will call me. He had wanted to get a haircut today but I told him no because I already had Wayne scheduled. I am sure he sees that his car has not moved today so may be upset I didn’t take him for a hair cut. I really don’t want to deal with all that so will hide here in the apartment.
     As much as I hate to take pills I think I will have to take a pain pill cause the back is getting pretty bad. Of course they are non narcotic pills and is really just a prescription Alieve so don’t do much. The headache is coming with a vengeance also of course. This is beginning to look like a pretty rough afternoon. Chest kinda hurts so will take an aspirin also.
     I am real slow now. I took my second seizure pill and am trying the 150 milligram ones. I have to wonder if that is causing me to feel doped up. Wish I could remember good enough to track this. I know I record my slow downs as much as possible so should check to see if they happen at the same times. If they are it may indicate a problem. Problem is I can’t remember good enough to tell doctors. Ears are ringing. This sucks. Oh yeah should put down the time. It is 3:43 now and I think I took the pill at 2:00 or so. Hate pills especially if dependant on them. The right leg is especially numb and I am having a hard time walking.
     It is hard to help others like Wayne because of this. Keep getting lost and forgetting what I am doing.
     I was trying to figure out how to use the MS Outlook program. Many of the E mail response things on websites and now blogs require this. They automatically bring this up when you push their send E mail button. I keep filling it out but can never get it to send. There was no send button. When I pulled up the Outlook program I have, that came with the MS Office I paid bucks for, I saw a list of the mails I have tried to send over a long period of time. It took me a long time to get to the place in help that told me I need to register a server. It talked about POP 3 and other stuff I am clueless about. I did find where it said I can’t use the free Yahoo only the one you have to pay for. There was a whole list of servers that work but the only one I remember was MSN so I will go look at that now.
     It is real frustrating when I can’t even do something as simple as signing up for a free hotmail account. Tried several times but couldn’t understand the mistake messages. I think I will quit now. Maybe Cherie can help when she gets home. At times like this I just want to go hide in my bed and hope it gets better but I won’t. I think I will look up the recipe on flan and try to cook. Focusing on that may help. The headache never went away and has grown to the point it is in the way. I usually am good at ignoring it. Will put on some gentle music.
     This has been one of the roughest days I have had in a while. I was at stuttering level about a 2. I’m a little better but not much, maybe at a four. I did manage to make the flan and it is the oven now. It was hard to do and I had to ask Cherie for help a few times. I can’t figure out what to write so will check E mail. Just staring at the screen.

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