10705 Friday

10/7/05 Friday
     I went to bed at 10:00 or so last night. Right now the only thing I remember after the last entry is the phone call with Sharon. Cherie had talked to her yesterday but didn’t tell what they talked about till after dinner. Sharon told her that the girl underneath her came to her door upset. The girl told Sharon that someone had called NPI and told them about the guy who had moved in with her and that she once had 12 people in an hour coming to her door. This comes at a bad time as Sharon is still going through withdrawals from Paxil, which was given to her to calm her nerves and help her not fixate on things.
     She had worked herself up and after telling Cherie she was afraid for her life she said it was Wayne’s fault. “There’s no way Wayne would have known these things unless Bob had told him” she said. “Tell Bob that he is to no longer tell Wayne the things I tell you in private”. That was fine so far, I could deal with it but her next statement set me off. Cherie told me that Sharon was going to tell the girl it was Wayne who had reported her and give her his phone number.
     Hearing this I instantly got up and headed for the phone. “She can’t do that. That’s not right. I have to call her now” I told Cherie as I dialed Sharon’s number. When Sharon came on I asked her “What’s going on Sharon”. She ran through the same things Cherie had told me so I told Sharon she was wrong to put this on Wayne. She told me all the reasons she was right as she argued with me. “Sharon you can’t endanger Wayne like that. Even if he did report it, your wrong to do this” She tells me that Wayne put her life in danger “Why should I be in danger because of him. He talks about you also. He says all kinds of things about you”.
     She won’t listen to anything I say and I get irritated and then mad. I had already told her that the only thing I had told Wayne was the guy parked his Cadillac out front. I’d also explained that Wayne lived right next door to the girl and pretty much knew all this stuff. I think Wayne did tell Gary about it and wonder if Gary had gone to her directly instead of going through NPI management. If that were so it raises the possibility of Gary being in collusion with her and others. That is not unusual in an atmosphere of drugs, prostitution, and the money that goes with it.
     I finally had enough when she went back to me telling Wayne every detail of her life. I told her she needs to get a grip and settle down and then just hung up. By now my voice had raised quite a bit and stayed angry after hanging up. “I’m tired of helping people” I told Cherie and then said I wouldn’t do anything for her anymore.
     It took me a while to calm down and I understood she has a medication problem on top of her brain damage. I should have told her to take another Xanex and kept calm, that is hard with the emotional control issues I have from my TBI. Hell I started crying at an issue of gunsmoke I watched yesterday or some time near, I don’t know. This is always something that is hard for me to keep a handle on, you know the emotions.
     So this and cooking a dinner that was real good is all I can recall of yesterday after the last entry. Now I can go back and read the journal and it will open the door for lots of yesterdays memories. Kinda like a key I can use to unlock things inaccessible otherwise. Now for today.
     I woke up slowly, kinda tired but got going pretty fast. I asked Cherie if I had anything scheduled today. She said no so I relaxed a bit. I remembered I was to see Jeff for our weekly breakfast meeting because it has become a routine providing the repetition required for me to recall.
     I pulled up to the Waffle house and could see Jeff already seated through the window. His first question after I had sat down was “Is this a good day today?”. That tells me he is reading the blog and it helps him understand what it’s like for me. “I’m doing good now, in fact real good. I don’t know how long it will last but this is what I call prime time” I replied and we were off.
     I’m not sure that Jeff got to say much because I was mentally alive and loving it. We talked about the Bible study a little. He had it with him but I’m not sure he read it. When I told him that what I got from the parable was a lot different from the book they were studying he asks “How so” with a puzzled look on his face. I expounded of my take of this saying it was directed at the Pharisees so I think it refers to all religious leadership.
     From that we moved to how Jeff was and we talked about marketing and sales and what he could do that was different. It was a great time of lucidity and I realized how much interaction with someone else stimulates my brain, wakes up that lazy bastard. I don’t get out much and visit and the small circle I do see regularly are often unstimulating regarding conversation. The short time with Jeff helps wake up a brain that grow fat and sluggish from not being used.
     I asked Jeff if anyone from the home group said anything about me because I had sent notices out to lots of folks about the blog. I kind of hoped some of them would have cared enough to inquire and that they would show some of the compassion they talk about. I never wanted any thing other than a how are you doing on occasion. Makes me wonder if I am really that bad that they distance themselves so quick.
     After that we went to leave and I noticed a Fed Ex semi with double trailers pulling up to the light. The back door of the front trailer was all the way open and it was packed to the roof with boxes. Another Fed Ex truck had pulled up behind him so I ran toward him yelling and waving my arms because he was closer. He had his windows up and didn’t see me till the light changed.
     As they both started forward what I feared happened. A bunch of boxes tumbled out of the trailer and were consequently run over. The trucker behind him looked at me with that “what the hells wrong with him” look until I pointed to the run over boxes that were just appearing from the truck in front of him. I watched the look on his face as he struggled to identify and comprehend what he was about to run over. It dawned on him so he hit the brakes, almost causing the guy behind him to rear end him. He got on his radio and flagged down his compatriot whom I saw pulling over.
     Then I went to pick up Cherie’s check and came home knowing I was going to get lots done because I was sharp. Fred called. “Are you ready?’ he asked. I hadn’t checked the calendar because Cherie said I didn’t have anything planned but come to find out I was to take Fred to get a haircut. He had forgot also so we got there late and had to reschedule. I took Fred to Radio shack, the Dollar Tree, and Deals till it was time for his haircut. After his haircut I drove him to see Helen where they exchange bags. She had made a big batch of chili for him and I don’t know what else, probably some more of what she cans. They talked for a while and then I took Fred to the Pharm where I acted as Fred’s eyes as I always do. He was more confused today than usual. He would pick up a can and I would tell him “That’s beefaroni” then he would get a can from the next basketful and I would say “That’s spaghetti o’s”. After that he went right back to the first basket and pick up the same can asking “What is this?”. It ran at about that level all through the store and we got in the check out line at last.
     I was glad to get back home and now I am getting tired. It is 3:00 now and I ate a smoked sausage sandwich before I got to work on this journal. The back is in pain again as it always does when I sit at this laptop. I probably should take a nap.