Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Kick against the goads

The results of stubborness and pride. How's this for a wake up call?

This morning I am to get Allen to Family Services so he can get help. I've tried to call a few times and his phone has been busy. I think he took it off the hook. I just got through to Allen. He did have the phone off the hook but evidently had set his alarm to get up. A good sign. I will run over there at 9:00. I took my pill but am having the ears ringing dizzy thing going on.

Jeremy responded to my blog entry. I guess he is “You know who”. He is being real religious, which is good because that can keep him out of trouble and inspire him to be a good man. I have seen religious conversion change cold blooded murderer’s into people with a conscience, determined to not go back into an old lifestyle and truly become a new person. It doesn’t always work but when it does society is better for it.
Nuff said on that.

Cherie is pretty upset. She called her mom and heard Nate in the background saying he was “opening some more shit” in reference to looking at the blog. It fascinates me how people are. My creed is “Love life, Live a life you can love, Become a person you can be proud of.” If you do that there is nothing anyone can say that will bother you. The whole world can look at your home and your life and you won’t be ashamed. But if you are ashamed who’s fault is it? When you get angry and upset because someone exposes you then why can’t you see that maybe you have a problem. If you can’t be proud of what others see of your life ask yourself, Why am I not proud of this? Why is it so hard to just do better guys? Pick up your trash and fix your mess. Make your life something you can be proud of and not embarrassed for the world to see. It really works a whole lot better and you can walk with your head held up high.

I got Allen to Family Services and helped him go through the whole process. I was surprised to see how easily confused he got and was glad I was there to lead him through it. When we got done there I took him to Social Security where he started the process to apply for disability. Allen hasn’t been able to work in four years and has maxed out his credit cards. I should have talked him into doing this three years ago but like most people he had to get in bad shape to wake up. I gave him a good smack in the face to get him to open his eyes. He didn’t like it at first but who does. Now he is thanking me and told me several times how grateful he was.

This is the way of things. Some use the term “Tough love” for this. For me it took several wake up calls to figure things out. First was when I went to prison in 1975 and I did well until I fell out of a tree in 1981. Then, after the divorce, I hooked up with the second wife who started me on a slow downhill slide. I woke up a little when I was sent to prison again for being drunk and being stupid but I got back with the “bitch” when I got out. After catching her whoring around again I went off the deep end. Then came the car wreck. Nothing like learning you had died and had slept for a month to make you think about “What is really important?” It wasn’t a slap in the face, that was a two by four upside the head saying “Wake up dumbass”. OK!! I GOT IT. Now I try to wake up others before they have to go through it as well. It’s not being mean, it’s saying “Come on. Look at yourself. You can do better so why don’t you?”
There is an ancient metaphor about an Ox kicking against the pricks that is also used in Acts chapter 9.5 of the Bible. It refers to how an ox kicks when goaded thus causing himself greater injury. The more he does this, the more stubborn he is, the worse he makes things for himself. If he had just figured things out life would have been much easier and better and frankly he would be regarded as a much better ox.
This metaphor is thousands of years old and has been told by wise men and fathers many times over the centuries to help stubborn children understand their ways. Of course there were always those who were too proud to acknowledge any need for improvement.Pride always goes before a fall.

Today I had people from Bulgaria, Norway, and Switzerland looking at the blog. Kinda blows me away. Of course I go blogging and look at blogs from all over the world. I am fascinated at being able look through these windows into other worlds, cultures, and lives. The more we understand others the wiser we all become.

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