Saturday, February 25, 2006

Too much, will catch up later

2/25/06 Saturday
It’s another day and I look forward to seeing how it goes. There was a time I greeted each day with dread but that has changed. Much of that change comes from my life circumstances having improved drastically but a big factor is my choosing to be positive. I still suffer from depression but it only comes to visit now and then. I choose, by force of will, not to allow it to stay. Instead of letting a thought process run willy nilly through my mind that I know is not good I will focus on something else. Literally “Telling” that thought that I will not think that way. It doesn’t always work but, Hey! This is my mind damn it, I will have it under control. It doesn’t always work but it is what I have been teaching Wayne and Allen to help them with their depression.

Bernie asked me to give him a call at 11:00 to see if he is available for us to grab lunch. I hope so. He was a good friend and I suppose still is but I am sure he is less comfortable than before. I know I would be. My slide into darkness cost me more than property. It cost me things who’s value far exceeds anything you could measure in dollars. Friendships and my name, my reputation. You can’t buy a good friend and you can’t buy a good reputation. Both are earned by your actions and by how you live your life. I will never regain what I lost. You reap what you sow is a truth that you can’t escape.

This morning is bright and sunny. It will get up to 45 degrees or so. It’s going to drop down to 13 or so tomorrow. I told Cherie we need to go walk in the park because we haven’t done so in a while.

We walked, we loved each others company, and then we got a call telling us Cherie’s mom was in a three car accident. Went to the scene, took pictures and then went to the hospital. Mom is shook up but no major damage. We visited, we got something to eat and now we are home. I am having a hard time doing simple things right now so will have to fill in this day later. Right now I must lay down and distress.

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