Sunday, February 26, 2006
Look into a mirror and see the truth
If you look into a mirror and don’t like what you see, is it the mirrors fault? Do you scream at the mirror, denying what is before your eyes? Not wanting, or willing to acknowledge the truth that is in front of you, do you just turn away and pretend you never saw it? There is an interesting scripture in the Bible that illustrates this.
James 1;22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.
In the Christian religion, and in all of society, it is recognized that we have a tendency to not practice what we preach. There is the front put up for everyone around to see, a false image so others will think better of us. We start to believe what we know is not the truth, deceiving ourselves into believing our own lie. Then someone holds up a mirror and that hurts. We run from the truth, deny what is right before us and get mad at the one who dared to be honest.
I opened up such a can of worms with this journal yesterday. When Cherie’s family read the blog they looked at a mirror and recoiled at what they saw. Now they are angry and taking this as an attack on them, not understanding it is not an attack, it is my desire to open their eyes and look at themselves. I know that for them to continue on the path they are on will lead to further destruction and pain.
It is just like my friend Allen. I couldn’t sit and watch him destroying his life with his addiction. I had to try and help him get free and it can only be done through honesty and truth. None of this “Hey buddy, yeah your just fine” pretending cause I don’t have the balls to tell him the truth. When I was sinking into darkness, no one said anything. Nobody was honest with me but now, five years later, I hear “I wish I had done something”. I had to die and lay in a hospital bed in a coma for a month to even begin to see the truth, to look in that mirror and acknowledge the image that stared back at me.
Now I have no pretense. I don’t run and hide. I freely and publicly face my shame and in doing so I have set myself free from my past. Now I live by the creed I carved into a piece of wood I recovered from my car crash.
I will love life
I will live a life I love
I will be a person I can be proud of (And I am now)
This blog is a part of that. I choose to not have any secrets and by making my life an open book I make choices that are far wiser because I know the world is watching. Imagine if you will, that there is a camera on you everywhere you go. Do you think you would act a little different if you knew Mama was watching? (Or whoever else you want to respect who you are)
I can’t stand by and watch my family continue to destroy themselves. In their mind I am sure they see me as mean and vindictive and do not understand how much I care. Caring comes with pain. The two often go together. The pain now is my having to accept their anger as a price of being honest. This is tearing Cherie up but I have watched her come home after visiting her parents just heartbroken too many times. She would just hold me and sob deeply from what she saw. Friends and family of her parents no longer go over to visit because of what they see. I know there is fury directed towards me for writing this but it is my prayer that from that will come good. That their eyes will be opened and they will stop choosing to be blind to what surrounds them. Only time will tell.
Truth is seldom easy but truth is truth. You may not like it but it is there no matter what. To choose to believe a lie is to choose death over life.
Enough heavy stuff. Do good, be good, choose well. Good night