Sunday, February 26, 2006

Look into a mirror and see the truth


If you look into a mirror and don’t like what you see, is it the mirrors fault? Do you scream at the mirror, denying what is before your eyes? Not wanting, or willing to acknowledge the truth that is in front of you, do you just turn away and pretend you never saw it? There is an interesting scripture in the Bible that illustrates this.

James 1;22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

In the Christian religion, and in all of society, it is recognized that we have a tendency to not practice what we preach. There is the front put up for everyone around to see, a false image so others will think better of us. We start to believe what we know is not the truth, deceiving ourselves into believing our own lie. Then someone holds up a mirror and that hurts. We run from the truth, deny what is right before us and get mad at the one who dared to be honest.
I opened up such a can of worms with this journal yesterday. When Cherie’s family read the blog they looked at a mirror and recoiled at what they saw. Now they are angry and taking this as an attack on them, not understanding it is not an attack, it is my desire to open their eyes and look at themselves. I know that for them to continue on the path they are on will lead to further destruction and pain.
It is just like my friend Allen. I couldn’t sit and watch him destroying his life with his addiction. I had to try and help him get free and it can only be done through honesty and truth. None of this “Hey buddy, yeah your just fine” pretending cause I don’t have the balls to tell him the truth. When I was sinking into darkness, no one said anything. Nobody was honest with me but now, five years later, I hear “I wish I had done something”. I had to die and lay in a hospital bed in a coma for a month to even begin to see the truth, to look in that mirror and acknowledge the image that stared back at me.
Now I have no pretense. I don’t run and hide. I freely and publicly face my shame and in doing so I have set myself free from my past. Now I live by the creed I carved into a piece of wood I recovered from my car crash.
I will love life
I will live a life I love
I will be a person I can be proud of (And I am now)
This blog is a part of that. I choose to not have any secrets and by making my life an open book I make choices that are far wiser because I know the world is watching. Imagine if you will, that there is a camera on you everywhere you go. Do you think you would act a little different if you knew Mama was watching? (Or whoever else you want to respect who you are)
I can’t stand by and watch my family continue to destroy themselves. In their mind I am sure they see me as mean and vindictive and do not understand how much I care. Caring comes with pain. The two often go together. The pain now is my having to accept their anger as a price of being honest. This is tearing Cherie up but I have watched her come home after visiting her parents just heartbroken too many times. She would just hold me and sob deeply from what she saw. Friends and family of her parents no longer go over to visit because of what they see. I know there is fury directed towards me for writing this but it is my prayer that from that will come good. That their eyes will be opened and they will stop choosing to be blind to what surrounds them. Only time will tell.
Truth is seldom easy but truth is truth. You may not like it but it is there no matter what. To choose to believe a lie is to choose death over life.
Enough heavy stuff. Do good, be good, choose well. Good night

3 comments:

Catherine said...

When I look in the mirror, I see the pain of betrayal on my face. You, Robert, have betrayed the family as well as me. You betrayed our trust. The very thing that we do not give easily! It is one thing to tell us how you feel. It is another thing to tell it to the world. I am a private person. I thought you knew this. If I want the world to know my life, burdens and problems I will then announce them. I have gone from being mortified to being deeply hurt by these blogs of what you see as the truth. (which by the way, I am in very good health...I am not the one who is on any medications) Never again will I ever trust you in any way shape or form. What is worse is knowing that I will not be able to trust my own sister to hold family confidences for a long time. Do you realize how your "pen" is dividing the family?
CHERIE - I love you very much and always will, but this time your husband has gone too far and you are the one who is bearing the brunt of his blogs, not me!

Nate~ said...

there is a line between the truth and opinions, when something is written one sided and manipulated to sound like everyone else is the problem it becomes a opinion... yes you may say that everyone is entitled to a opinion,.... true BUT when that one sided manipulated opinion posted on the internet comes out of the bag at a verry inopertune time you can not expect people to be happy about it, and trust me.... nobody in this family is...... that is all I have to say here

Anonymous said...

This is Jeremy a friend of this family you have bombarded with words. I may not be a member of this family but they have welcomed me as thier own in a time in my life when i have not had it so easy i am a little disappointed in your misrepresentation of GOD"s word I have not been living in HIS way for a good part of my life but since i came back to JESUS he has showed me many great things he has blessed me with multiple businesses out of nothing and true friends that support me some of which being the clevenz family
i want to leave you with a word from GOD turn to mathew chapter seven and JESUS says " DO NOT JUDGE OR YOU WILL BE JUDGEDFOR IN THE SAME WAY YOU JUDGE OTHERS YOU WILL BE JUDGED AND WITH THE MEASURE YOU USE IT WILL BE MEASURED TO YOU
WHY DO YOU LOOK AT THE SPECK OF SAWDUST IN YOUR BROTHERS EYE AND PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PLANK IN YOUR OWN EYE? HOW CAN YOU SAY TO YOUR BROTHER "LET ME TAKE THE SPECK OT OF YOUR EYE WHEN ALL THE TIME THERE IS A PLANK IN YOUR OWN EYE? YOU HYPOCRITE FIRST TAKE THE PLANK OUT OF YOUR OWN EYE AND THEN YOU WILL SEE CLEARLY TO REMOVE THE SPECK FROM YOUR BROTHERS EYE"
this is a message that spoke to me greatly when i came back to CHRIST
In another chapter paul speaks to the church and tells the order to handle these matters first you go to your brother and tell them how you feel they are wrong< then if they continue you go to them with another brother and both speak to him> and if they continue you put it in gods hands with prayer>
these are some words for thought and prayer i hope you can put them to heart
good day>