2/24/06 Friday
I didn’t get much done after the slow down yesterday. These sometimes take allot out of me. This morning I am running medium, about a 7 on the Bob scale. (I always use the term Bob scale for the search engine when I need to look this up for doctors and stuff)
I am eating oatmeal cookies with coffee for breakfast. How healthy is that? It is bright and sunny out. A front blew through last night so we went from 50 to 30. Still above normal. Don’t know what I will do today. Had a restless night. Hit the TV remote with my elbow as I tossed and turned, turning it on and startling us both awake at three or four in the morning.
I am tired. Just took my pill. Staying with the 100 mg for now but will increase of I have more of the slow downs. I need to go back through this journal and map those out. I think I have fewer now than before but really can’t say because I don’t remember. That’s why I keep this journal.
With all this terrorist stuff going on in Toledo I am wondering about Ahmed. For you readers use the Blogger search engine for my blog to see who I mean. He is my next door neighbor and is a Sunni Moslem from Lebanon. His views are radical and scary. He thinks 911 is a CIA plot to cause problems. He drives truck and usually comes home on Friday.
Just got an E mail from James Adray. He said he had replaced his office furniture and no longer needed the items left at River East. Well I tried. I’m disappointed I can’t finish the job. Now there are two very expensive pieces of Mahogany office furniture just sitting there going to waste. Hell I’d finish them and give them to River East just on principle. I doubt they would let me even give them that gift. It’s only $5000 worth of stuff not counting the custom desk I was also making. I am sure they would suspect some ulterior motive from me wanting to do that. For many it is incomprehensible that someone would want to sacrifice to do something right. They are just unable to believe such a thing and would rather assume some diabolical motive. I can see them now, sitting around and saying “Can you believe that guy. He must think we’re stupid, that we would honestly believe he wants to make things right. He’ll rob us blind”. They are already blind, unable or unwilling to see what is before them. Blinded by lies and preconceptions. I’ll do the best I can and go to Texas with a clean conscious.
Well I hit over 200 on those who visited my blog this month. Several have me on a feed that lets them know when I post. When I posted last night I checked and there was suddenly a bunch of folks looking. Too cool. For a man who felt alone and rejected in this world just a few interested in my life is a big boost. Of course everyone likes a winner and I intend to keep moving in a positive direction and live a life I am proud of.
It is frustrating for me to not be able to do things. I just tried to put a picture on the profile part of the blog. I have tried this several times before with the same result. I try and try to understand things like putting a URL for the picture I want. It didn’t work, said the file size was too big. I got farther this time than before but this mental strain has slowed me down drastically. My typing is slow and I am running at a 3 now. This brain is like an old 286 computer and freezes up with when strained. I’m going to lay down for a while. Remember my joke, I am either the smartest dumb man or the dumbest smart man you will ever meet. Just depends on the moment you meet me.
Laying down helped. These kinds of slow downs are different from the one I had yesterday. They are simply stress freeze ups not partial seizures like I had at the MS luncheon. I think I need to start calling them freeze ups to differentiate them from the partials. Freeze ups are what I have when I go into the grocery store or any other situation with lots going on where this brain must struggle to sort it all out.
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