Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Being Careful

3/29/06 Wednesday
As you can tell from yesterday’s entries it was a rough day. Taking Fred and Barb to the laundry mat was as draining as expected.

Barb was in a good mood, I suppose because it was her birthday. The day before her Zeph Center caseworker had taken her and a couple of others to the Zoo. Barb said the other two didn’t stay long so it was just her and Shannon, the case worker. She was on a non stop monologue about it and as she talked the effects of her brain damage were evident. I watched her face as she would talk about the “Little fishies” and the other things she saw. As she did my heart went out to her because other than the visible marks of her age she was conversing pretty much as an eight year old would. When she would come to a perceived dilemma her face would get serious and knit up as she looked down, working out the problem out loud as she verbalized the thoughts going through her mind.

Barb had so much laundry she filled up the trunk and back seat and still had to leave some behind. Part of that was laundry from her next door neighbor. Who knows what other laundry was there. I had considered getting Wayne because he also has laundry to do but there was no room.

Fred had purchased two rolls of quarters for this expedition. He was comical in a frustrating way as he doled out the quarters. I had talked Barb into using two of the biggest washers because you got a better deal for the money. They were $4.00 each so when I told Fred he expressed his usual outrage at the price of things and then started counting the quarters out one by one into my hand. My arm began to get tired as I held it out to get quarters. Finally I told Fred he could trust me so he gave me a handful of quarters and waited for what was left after I fed the two machines. In all Barb used six washers. Two triple loaders, two doubles, and two single loads. I knew it would be a long day and regretted not bringing the laptop. I settled in front of the TV and let Barb do her thing. Fred was freezing because they didn’t have the heat on. With natural gas prices so high I can’t blame the owners for keeping it low.

I am doing much better this morning. I woke at 4:30 and laid there thinking about the farm and what to expect out of Larry. I’m running at a seven on the Bob scale. There is nothing scheduled today. I will probably go see Allen if he gets out of bed before 3:00. I need to make sure I call the lawyer in Texas about the inheritance. Then I should call Virginia to give her an idea of our position on this.

Be careful. You never know what may sneak up from behind and grab you but you also can be blind to what you are running headlong into.
Better look to see what may hidden in front of you.
(Click to enlarge)

I got cleaned up early in case Ahmed came to the door about Jackie. He came home yesterday, parking his red semi out behind the Laundromat we see framed by our window. Haven’t heard much from over there. Ahmed already told me he was buying her dope. You don’t feed a sickness to keep it strong. That’s destroying somebody in the name of doing good. I enjoy being free of every thing that tied up my soul like that. I want to pass that freedom on but fear getting to close to that world, afraid it will reach out and grab me. A shadowy serpentine hand sneaking up on me from a dark crevice, opening wide its saber fingers to GRAB me. Tying my arms to my side. Trapping me. Enslaving me. Costing me the miracle that my life has become. Not going there! Not going to let that happen. I will love life and live a life I can be proud of. But I will be careful.

I just went on a cleaning spree. I started with dishes but that soon evolved as I got into it. Usually I just do a quick wipe down of the counter but this time I began pulling everything out and cleaning areas that had not seen a wash cloth in a while. I hit all the burners on the stove and scrubbed the floor. It always hurts to do some of that but it will go down in a bit.

I suppose I should post this. I know my brother stops in and reads this blog on occasion so “Larry, give me a call or E mail”.

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