Saturday, March 04, 2006

Keep moving

Here it is. The philosophy we are both striving for. Life is what we make it and we choose to make it one free of bad pasts. There is only the future to look forward to.

The craft show was a bore. Cherie said it was allot smaller than before so she was disappointed. Not much that impressed me regarding talent and ability but there was some. Cherie was surprised when I told her that allot of the stuff there was mass produced and had been purchased for retail sale. She thought it was a rule that everything had to be made by those at the show. I’m sure much of it was but by all means not all of it. Cherie kept looking around because she was afraid she would see her mom and that was a source of trepidation.

After that we went to Kroger on Jackman road for gas after going online to see who sold the cheapest gas. At the station I called Eileen to see if she was up for a visit. I was surprised when she answered her phone. We talked quite a bit and she told me about the snotty crap she was getting from Sue, one of Terry’s girlfriends. She said something about Eileen not waiting for Glen to get cold before she had a man. Nick checked her hard on that and Terry didn’t have anything to say. He is still just walking in like it’s his home. Eileen needs to lock the door and as far as I’m concerned if someone has little or no respect for Eileen they need to stay the hell away.
I really want to meet this Nick guy. The more Eileen tells me about him the more I like him. She needs someone strong like that and Nick was her love long before she met Glen. They had a child together. Eileen, if your reading this “You go girl”. Take care of yourself and to hell with the rest. You only live once so live good. You don’t have to make anyone else happy, just yourself. Besides that, what the hell are some of these people hanging around you for if they don’t think much of you? On top of that you know some of them are thieves. You had too much stuff disappear over the years. Like the song says “Smiling faces, sometimes hide a frown”. Watch em and take care of yourself. Nuff said.

After that conversation we headed home. Cherie said “Look, there’s an estate sale”. Then she said that we had already gone too far past it. “Cherie, would you like to go to the estate sale?” I asked her. She waffled around as she does because of the fear that has been instilled since childhood, afraid of imposing or upsetting or saying something wrong. I spun the car around in a U turn and headed back. “Cherie you know I love you. Don’t ever be afraid to say what you want. Where’s this sale at?” I said. We talked about her being afraid and how I was helping her get free from it.

At the sale most of the good stuff was gone but there was a lamp she liked. It was priced at $28 but they said everything was half price to get rid of it. I offered the lady $10 and with a dejected look she accepted. This put a smile on Cherie’s face that I would have paid forty dollars to see. With that we headed home and talked more about these deep seated fears and low self esteem that has plagued her most of her life. Cherie said “You know, with you I can finally be free. I don’t have to be afraid anymore”. It will take a long time for her to overcome a lifetime of….well I best not say cause it will rock the boat more. I’ve done enough of that and truth seems to be a bad thing in some circles.

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