Thursday, March 23, 2006

Not a bad start

3/23/06 Thursday
We’re both tired this morning. I have a slight headache but not to bad. There is nothing on my schedule to do except E mail Bill, the guy from the MS Lunch bunch. Right now I’m running a six on the Bob Scale. I will try to call Eileen though she seldom answers her phone and never returns a message. If Allen can wake up and hold a conversation I will go over to get his paperwork for Social Security filled out.

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning which I was able to take a picture of through the window. We both wondered if it would work through the glass. Looks fine, don’t it? I think I will call the lawyer in Texas to see what’s going on with the inheritance. Both of us are anxious to get the process for moving to Texas started. That’s something I need to do! I need to write the Texas Congressman about state and federal programs for energy and water conservation. I set up the online account with Direct Buy so we can start shopping for what we will need. I was disappointed with the window selection but will explore that further.

I called Dave Miller, my friend who let me live in his house when I was homeless. He seems to be doing well. Dave told me that he would be going full time with the Temp agency he works through. I know that sounds like a contradiction, you know, full time with temporary, but that’s Cherie’s job. She works at Owens Illinois through Advance Temp agency and it’s a full time job. She just doesn’t get the benefits she would if she was a regular OI employee. Anyway, Dave has a reliable car finally. That is good because I had worked hard on his previous two vehicles, which were ragged to say the least and the last one caught on fire. Dave was surprised to hear we will be moving to Texas. I thought I had let him know but it’s no surprise I didn’t.

I also called my youngest son Adam when I saw he was online through the instant messenger symbol on Yahoo. Barb answered the phone so I asked for Adam. I really didn’t have an interest in talking to Barb (That’s my second wife, not the Barb with brain damage I help) because the few times I tried her bitterness came up and we couldn’t be civil. When I first got back I had wanted to talk with her to try and restore lost memories. I suppose some of those memories are better off staying lost. Besides many have returned. I just can’t trust their accuracy because they’re just bits and pieces and filling in the blanks can always be a hit or miss thing. I’m sure some of what will be in the book will vary a little from what really happened. But I think that is true with everyone even though they don’t have brain damage and memory loss. We all see things a bit slanted in our favor. I know I had been telling folks things about my relationship with Barb that was pretty one sided. Yeah she fooled around but so did I. I was probably a bigger whore than she was. I want to be honest and that means facing up to your own faults.

Nuff said on that. I called Adam. Barb went and got him. He was not too happy to talk with me. I think, or hope, that part of that is because he was up all night and was real tired. He said he had got some E mails from me but none of the phone messages. I said I would like to meet him and take him out to dinner and asked him to just say when and I’ll be there. He wouldn’t. After a few minutes of very strained conversation I told him I would let him go to bed. When I said “I love you” there was a hesitation and he mumbled I love you back so quiet I could barely hear. I don’t know if that is because he didn’t want his mom to hear or what. I had asked him earlier if I had done something to piss him off but got little response. I love the kid and raised him since he was four so it hurts. This is part of the price I pay for how I acted at the end of my marriage to Barb. That was a bad year and a half with lots of bitterness in addition to my slide into madness.

There is nothing scheduled on my calendar so I must plan out a day in order to accomplish anything. Otherwise I will just wander from one thing to another changing tasks with every distraction. I will go see Wayne and get his mail for him because he is afraid to after what happened to Sharon. I should call her up to and see how things are going.

I got a hold of Sharon. She moved back into her apartment at S. Cove and had a friend of her son stay with her for protection. She told me the name of the apartments she looked at were called Terrence Downs or something like that. The call was ten minutes ago and I already have a hard time remembering the name. She sounded allot better than yesterday.

Part of that is because she is back in her apartment and like me it helps to be in familiar surroundings. This is common among those of us with brain injuries. It takes me two weeks or so to adjust. Even when I moved in with Cherie it was hard for a bit. Even though Sharon has allot of fear about being in that apartment it is familiar and that gives a sense of security. You can see the quality job NPI did installing her air conditioner. It might not be nice but it's "home"

After talking to her I placed a call to the leasing agent with NPI properties to see about getting Wayne out of where he is at. I also called Juanita, who is Barb’s case worker. Got to get these things moving.

So it is only 9:40 and I am getting stuff done. That is a good start for me. The headache is just a dull throb at the temples so is nothing. I’ll hit the shower and fix breakfast. Better get as much done as I can while lucid because I never know how long it will last. I have moved up to an 8 on the Bob scale so that is excellent.

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