Sunday, March 05, 2006

It got better

This is Cherie and the lamp she bought yesterday. See what I mean about it putting a smile on her face? Her sister and others have remarked on how much happier she is now that we are back together. She said she had not seen Cherie smile as much before. They don't seem to count that as much now that I rocked the boat.

Cherie came home from shopping and I got out of bed, finally getting moving. I hate losing big portions of a day but that’s the way it is with this TBI and the partial seizures. Cherie looked at me and said “I spent allot of money. I got something I probably shouldn’t have. BUT I got a great deal on it! I hope you don’t mind…”. As she started on her long explanation of how great of a deal it was I interrupted her “Cherie, what did you buy”. “I got a Bruce Springsteen CD set. It only cost $15. There was no way I could ever get it that cheap. I…” She started again to justify her purchase.

This is because of the low self esteem she has. Because of what she has gone through in her life she has very little confidence in herself. Cherie has the quickest “I’m sorry” I have ever seen. It is a reflex response that she developed because of constant criticism. It will probably take years for me to build her up to where she understands that her opinions have value. I work on getting her to assert herself all the time, to speak out and say what she thinks, not what she feels others want to hear. I told Cherie that I trust and love her so much she could come home with fifty CD’s. Hell, I’ve made her responsible to tell me what I can spend. Of course major decisions we do together. For that matter we do that with everything.

I never did finish writing about Eileen. Boo was there when we got to her place and we all talked about lots of stuff. Boo told me about stuff Terry had stolen when he worked for me. That wasn’t a big surprise. Bobby came over drinking a beer and then someone who I think is related to Boo came by with her child and boyfriend. He was pretty respectful, not wanting to offend by bringing a beer in. I don’t know but he may have gotten out of the joint not to long ago.

These are people I’m comfortable with. It is a culture that is foreign to Cherie. I’m a chameleon and fit in with about any group, be it wealthy suit and tie businessmen or ex cons. It was F this and F that. I want an F’n beer. Did you hear what that C said. And on and on. The language was not what Cherie is used to though she's heard allot at XXXXXXXXXXX(edited at her request) This is just normal conversation in some circles and they think nothing of it. It really doesn't bother me and when with my friends I've been known to say a few F's also. Does that make them or me bad people? I don't think so.

Anyway Eileen was wearing out fast. She suffers from cluster headaches, which are worse than migraines. She was starting to get one and I could see it in her face. We excused ourselves and went home. Eileen needs to learn to tell folks to just go home when she gets tired. She is also not used to asserting herself but is getting better. She is happier than I have seen her before. Mick is good for her and is just what she needs. I had his name wrong and called him Nick in earlier entries. Probably should go back and change it but it won’t make a difference.

Tomorrow I have a busy day. I will take Barb to the laundry so will take ours and do it at the same time. I have to take Wayne for his yearly review at LMHA but first have to get him to Social Security for a proof of income that is required. That means I get moving early and will leave at the same time Cherie does for work. Hope I am sharp. Right now it is 10:30 and I am wide awake. Hate it when my clock gets turned around. I think Wayne’s doctors office building burned down this morning so I am sure that will cause problems.

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